Friday, 23 August 2013

To thine own self be true

Sometimes situations in life require us to make changes we simply don't wanna...
But inside you know it's right, it needs to happen. Whatever 'it' happens to be in your reality.

I've had to do this more times than I thought my sensitive nature could take. But, you just gotta. So I've learned - finally! - that when faced in one of these predicaments of life, go ahead and speak your truth.

However, here's the most important part. It's all in the delivery... Yup. That's it. Simple. It's this whole love thing. When we own how we feel and speak from the heart - translation in a kind and respectful manner - we honour ourselves and the recipient of our truth.

Story time

I was uncomfortable with the sporadic inappropriate behaviour of a close relative who had been visiting from out of town. I tried prit'near every ego-clearing-energy-releasing tool in my Harmony Now!* kit and after 4 days I just couldn't do it anymore... I had been thrown out of the vortex much like Auntie Em's house complete with Miss Gulch on the bicycle... I shudder... we're not in Kansas anymore Toto... Way too many flashbacks of the tried-to-forget kind. I broke out in hives on my wrists.

So I hid. For 2 days. Then it was the final night. I wasn't proud of myself. I was angry and I hadn't been very respectful or honouring of this fellow human. They meant no harm. I gather that type of expression is acceptable in their reality.
Just not in mine.

I approached the situation like this:     CJ me  AR annoying relative

CJ   I love you very much, and I apologize for isolating myself, but I am not comfortable with some of our conversations. I tried a couple of times to express boundaries were crossed. We choose to live a peaceful lifestyle in this home.
AR  I didn't mean to upset anyone.
CJ   I understand that. And I love and accept you just the way you are. It is me who is uncomfortable. Thank you for coming. Much of the time was most enjoyable.

We hugged and said goodbye. Although I felt enormous relief there was some guilt hanging about. Human condition.

I'm very much into symbolism, particularly with numbers. I could blog about that daily... sometimes it's so over-the-top freaky I have to ask the Universe to cut it out for a bit. Sheesh. I'm grateful for the love but it can be a lil distracting.

Anyway, later that night while numbing my brain pre-sleep playing Spider Solitaire, the first game ends with a running time of 22:27 and a score of 1113. I notice the triple number sequences. I play one more game resulting in a running time of 11:12 and a score of 2322. I smile. Thank you I say. My eyes glance to the clock on the tablet and it's... 11:12. My heart warms and my feet tingle.

My take on the number sequences... confirmation from the beloved Universe that I was true to my real self. Owning my discomfort. Speaking truth with kindness and respect. No blame. No judgment.

I slept peacefully and woke up the next morning to a hue of pink clouds in the sky, and I felt absolutely marvelous... (and they were gone!)

*um, hope you realize the Harmony Now! kit is a fabrication of my mind. Own yours today!

to my friend: to thine own self p2

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