The Winds of Change

A year ago today the life that I knew started to unravel. A series of events set in motion by a storm, the literal winds of change.

I live on an island in the Pacific Northwest. Last fall we experienced significant rainfall - much higher than normal  - and the water level of the creek that bordered my property rose quickly and flooded my house for the first time in 58 years. In past the creek had overflowed less than a handful of times with watercovering the lawn but never entering the garage.

I was on the mainland visiting my daughter for the weekend. At 7am I woke to my phone ringing. It was my tenant, a lovely young gal who had only moved into my basement suite two weeks prior.

"There's 4 inches of water throughout the basement" she said. "I don't know what I should do".

I was at minimum 4 to 5 hours before I could get home. It was over an hour to the ferry terminal and then a 2 hour ferry ride to the island.

I told her I'd call my partner and have him come by and assess and provide direction.

I'd been dating John for 5 years and admittedly it wasn't going well. It felt like we were stuck in a rut and there were some things we couldn't move past. He was emotionally unavailable in some aspects of our relationship and it was wearing on me. It was make or break time.

I called John and told him about the flooding. I knew he would be on his way to work shortly and asked if he could go by my place and check on the house and the tenant. 

"What am I supposed to do?" he said. I was a bit dumb-founded. If the tables were turned I would've been at his place in a heartbeat taking whatever actions were necessary.

"She's a 23-year old girl" I said "please go have a look".  In my head I'm thinking please show up in my life. Please be my partner. He did go thankfully, took the photo above but left without going inside... A snapshot of our relationship.

To add to the mix, three days earlier on November 12, I had received the news that my brother, my only sibling, had stage 4 cancer (lungs, bone, brain) and the prognosis wasn't good...

The Universe was serving up some heavy stuff.

On the day of the flood, it took several hours for me to get home. Raging winds that accompanied the torrential rainfall cancelled ferry sailings leaving me stuck at the terminal with major anticipation of what lie ahead. 

The water level reached 8" at the height of the flooding leaving a dirty line on the walls. It had receded to about 2" by the time I walked through the door. What a mess. Floor boards had lifted and were floating randomly. Interestingly I didn't cry. I surveyed the damage while a plan formulated in my head. John came over after work. "This is major flooding, definitely an insurance claim".

I was planning on selling my house the following spring as I was retiring. I certainly didn't need this major obstacle along with the other stuff on my plate.

Stoically I got the ball rolling and within four months I had cleaned house literally. Hours of hard work, purging physically and emotionally. It was May - my house was for sale with a fully renovated lower floor, my brother had stabilized, I was about to retire and John was gone.

In the summer I moved to a new community, buying a spectacular house with my oldest son. He & the fam (wife, 3 kids) live upstairs and I've got myself a groovy little ground level suite with endless access to my joyful grandchildren. 

As I reflect on the past year I'm amazed and pleased with myself for having the courage to ride the winds of change and create a new life for myself. I sleep well, stopped biting my nails and feel peaceful inside ... well most of the time...

Everyone deserves Happiness

When exciting things happen to people like a financial windfall, a new job, or winning a prize, I often hear "you deserve it" and usually it's "good people" they're talking about. Or when something terrible happens we hear "they're such good people, how did this happen to them?"

I'm not buying it. The statement begs the question "who is deserving" assuming bad people deserve all bad things and good people should only be subject to good things. It's based in judgement.

Everyone deserves Happiness. No questions asked.

Did you ever wonder how "bad people" got bad?  Most were likely subject to abuse or other mistreatment quite possibly from childhood. Or maybe life has kicked the crap out of them and they're tired & feel like giving up, or maybe they're angry and feisty. We rarely know what someone else's story is. 

There's so much going on behind closed doors - that seemingly perfect family may not be so perfect. And that family that appears dysfunctional may have more love & laughter going on between those 4 walls that some of us may never experience.

I'm grateful that as I've aged my heart has expanded with grand compassion and understanding of many walks of life. When I feel judgement rising in my psyche it's time to cool the jets and open my heart. I've experienced both "good" and "bad" things and it's just a perception of how that situation is affecting me at the time. I can't tell you how many "bad" things have led to incredible joy and love and became "good" things.

Take a deep breathe, love thyself and wish buckets of goodness on everyone as we all deserve to be happy.

May everything on or of this earth be free of pain
May everything on or of this earth be free of emotional and physical suffering
May everything on or of this earth take care of themselves with ease
May everything on or of this earth be at peace

Freedom is a broad word

These days there's much going on globally in the name of Freedom. 

For me, it's Freedom of Choice

This is my story. When the vaxines were mandated I no longer had Freedom of Choice. I had to be jabbed which I didn't find necessary given my circumstances or I would lose my job. 

At the time I was 3 months away from retirement, working from home and I live alone. Not to mention my attention to my overall health.

I'm a vegan. For me getting jabbed was like plopping a roast beef in front me and saying I have to eat it. It's not just about killing animals to feed me, I believe eating meat is not healthy for me. It's part of a regiment I've been following for years with the intent of taking personal responsbility for my health. 

I eat well, exercise daily (almost), meditate and practice kindness. I consider myself a child over the universe practicing the ways of the Buddha. 

Top of the list is Harm None. And that's in all facets of life not just whether I get jabbed for other peoples wellbeing.

Trust me, I'm no saint. I do eat potato chips and candy sometimes, I curse at inconsiderate drivers and battle with the Committee of Assholes living in my head. I didn't come to living this way without a roller coaster of missteps. I'm not 'pro-' or 'anti-' anything. But I do believe Freedom of Choice when it comes to our bodies is paramount. As is being of service to others shown by kindness, compassion and tolerance. 

At the very least we should show human decency towards one another regardless of differences.

Mudslinging, forceful and passive aggressive behaviours are dividing the masses on this issue of Freedom - a broad word and has many interpretations generally based in personal experiences. Before you paint the movement with one brush, take the time to listen - everyone has a story.

If you can't understand a different perspective there's always acceptance. Allow others to have options on how they choose to experience life. 

I have faith and trust that all will unfold as it should. These are the growing pains of a changing society towards more heart-centred experiences.