Friday, 25 October 2013



so what is crazy anyway?

I googled. Here's a snippet of what I found...

informal; adjective
out of one’s head, off one’s nut, nutty, nutty as a fruitcake, off one’s rocker, not (quite) right in the head, round the bend, raving mad, stark raving mad, bats, batty, bonkers, cuckoo, loopy, loony, bananas, loco, dippy, screwy, screw loose, touched, gaga, doolally, up the pole, not all there, off the wall, out to lunch, not right upstairs, mad, insane, out of one’s mind, deranged, demented, not in one’s right mind, crazed, lunatic, non compos mentis, unbalanced, unhinged, unstable, disturbed, distracted, buggy, nutsy, nutso, out of one’s tree, meshuga, squirrelly, wacko, gonzo, absurd, preposterous, ridiculous, ludicrous, farcical, laughable, idiotic, stupid, foolish, foolhardy, unwise, imprudent, ill-conceived, silly, inane, puerile, infantile, fatuous, imbecilic, hare-brained, half-baked, unreasonable, irrational, illogical, nonsensical, pointless, senseless, impracticable, unworkable, unrealistic, outrageous, wild, shocking, astonishing, unbelievable, incredible, unthinkable, implausible, peculiar, odd, strange, queer, weird, eccentric, bizarre, fantastic, incongruous, grotesque, barmy, daft, potty, cock-eyed...

Whew. I find this quite amusing.

Another label. Another measure on whose scale?

I was 28. I received a fantastic compliment. Wow she's really got it all together.
And on the outside I did. Point being, on the inside  (no long sad story required) - I was crazy.

Beam ahead 20+ years. Still walkin the earthwalk. I have evolved. I've figured a bunch of stuff out. Finding truth. Letting go. Enjoying. Embracing all that I am and loving all that I am not.
On the inside I'm getting it together. Feeling good. Feeling happy, peaceful, content. And on the outside, there are those who say - she's crazy.

Granted I am more demonstrative than the average human. An observance by my second husband ... whatever you do, you do well. Very very true. Thing is, that works for positive and negative traits. I think that was my first real understanding of duality. Ultimately another step down the path of greater understanding of perception, beliefs and balance.

LLW  loving lightworker  counsellor
CJ  Cuppa Joy me
PSM  Pragmatic Saintly Mother  mom

CJ  my mother says I'm too sensitive
LLW  You know, that's not necessarily a bad thing

I find this quite liberating So during the next conversation with my mother that the you're too sensitive comment arose, I was armed.
CJ  Well that's not necessarily a bad thing
PSM  Yes it is

Shut down. Just like that. Ahh, the British are a tough lot. My brother and I joke that our mother's stiff upper lip is pulled right up over her head. Truth be told, she's quite the role model to live up to.

Genetically I come from a long line of nut bars. But who's the judge? My normal isn't your normal so why should my crazy be the same as anybody else's crazy.

Delight and be grateful in what is. One of many favourite Jack Nicholson lines in As Good As It Gets

go sell crazy somewhere else, we're all stocked up here 



Monday, 21 October 2013

weird yet welcomed slumber

I've not always been good at sleeping. A good sleep, in my world, would be a solid 7 hour slumber. Aside from pockets of playing fitness guru where I drill-sergeant myself with a complete physical ass-kicking and my body is so exhausted sleep comes easy, I've tended to be wakeful. Like every 2 to 3 hours. Maybe I'll go to the loo, or self-destructively raid the cupboards or simply scan the clock and doze off again. Thus I am grateful when a deep sleep is experienced.

In past I've labelled myself easily distracted by external stimuli. However I don't subscribe to labels anymore and I just like to be in the know, awake or asleep!

Given my regular sleep patterns, it's been glaring when circumstances have occurred that for the life of me, I just can't stay awake.

On two occasions I was at a hot rod show. My partner and I arrived the night before the event and tented with a few other participants. Early the next morning over 300 magnificent machines rolled in filling the field we were camped on the edge of. The purr of those modified engines had me sawing logs til my subconcious curiosity was piqued enough to rise and get visual.

Next odd place - camping at the lake. Granted here I was completely inebriated though that doesn't always guarantee a long, rejuvenating sleep. I crashed around 2am not to wake until 11am. That's 9 hours people! Both times this happened I seriously checked more than one clock. Weird.

This one's definitely got something spiritual going on. The Hospital. Awaiting Surgery.  Having the hardware removed from my ankle that I'd broken 2 years prior when blackberry-picking (now there's something to blog about). It was day surgery and once settled in pre-op -- and no I had not been given anything to make me drowsy -- I found myself nodding off. I was woken twice over the next couple hours, once for vitals and an IV, and the other to be wheeled to the O.R. Again in the corridor I dozed off, this time to be nudged by the surgeon. He woke me up so the anaesthetic-guy could put me to sleep.

And the strangest times I've drifted off... when I'm getting tattooed. I've spent 7 blissful afternoons gettin' inked. Each time it is less painful, and after the last tatt session I was more relaxed and in la-la land than any spa treatment I've received...

I'm not entirely sure what the deal is though I've got a couple full-freak explanations, but does it matter? Nope. Just another addition to the List of Wondrous Me.

Night-night. Sleep well.

Sunday, 20 October 2013

sudden uncontrollable outbursts

It would appear that as part of the human condition we have a desire to label things and although it doesn't change the circumstance at all, we are comforted by the knowing.

So recently I saw a commercial that I actually thought was a spoof.

Have you experienced sudden outbursts of uncontrollable crying or laughing?

If so, you may have "wxyz". Learn more about this neurologic condition that affects nearly 2 million ...

In advance I will apologize to those who do experience this and other physical ailments who may take offence.

Seriously people? The commercial went on further with suggestions for this newly identified condition. This led to my daughter and I experiencing a sudden outburst of uncontrollable laughing. Then we wept upon realization that this was 'real'.

So many labels, syndromes, conditions. Does it change anything by what you call it?

A couple years ago I had self-diagnosed on the internet (not always a wise idea ... don't believe everything you think) and informed my doctor I had 'chronic fatigue syndrome'. Somehow by labelling how I'd been feeling led me to believe I could now easily fix it.

My doctor explained she was hesitant to give such a diagnosis as there wasn't really any specific treatment. Hmmm. I got it. Yet another need from the ego.

There are many individuals who suffer from IBS (which I personally wouldn't have the need to tell others) and many other syndromes; yet in my observance they haven't necessarily taken steps dietary or otherwise to assist their condition. Everyone wants a magic pill to make it go away. Another instance of the way in is the way out...

Examine why you have this syndrome, condition, dis-ease, ailment, yada, yada, yada. And be open to what you discover. Allow the possibility of the source to be something other than what you think. Step out of your current belief system. We all have the power within us to change anything.

It's the whole comfort thing of knowing which is helpful if you use the information to move forward and not just an addition to your List of Limitations.

My mom and I were recently discussing the end of the Mayan Calendar and how it was labelled by the fearful as "the end of the world". The spiritual saw it as "the beginning of a new world".

My mom (a saint on this earth) simply said "it's time for a new calendar".

Love you Mom.

Incidentally the same physical symptom Have you experienced sudden outbursts of uncontrollable laughing or crying? appeared on a list of Ascension Symptoms I was perusing. And admittedly many other items that I'm tempted to label simply as Being Human. Who's the holder of the Normal List that says feeling intense emotions at times is abnormal? Embrace who you are! Show the world! Be deliciously weird*. In fact, I think my co-workers would find it abnormal if I didn't exhibit sudden outbursts every coupla days. Huge grin.

*my blogs advocate the display of behaviours that are of a positive, loving, and honouring nature, as exist in my Cuppa Joy reality.

Friday, 4 October 2013

Jesus came in under the door

AEN  Alfred E. Neumann look-alike  religious solicitor
CJ  Cuppa Joy me
KBB  Kind Beautiful Being  daughter-in-law

I have a picture of Jesus on my desk. He came in under my front door. It went down like this:

It's about 6pm on a weeknight, I'm prepping dinner for the fam. There's a knock at the door which is somewhat unusual. I answer the door and straight away recognize the scene. Solicitors from the neighbourhood Mormon Church. Only this time it's an early 20s pair, rather than the regular rotation of seniors. One of them bears an uncanny likeness to THE Face of Mad magazine.

I am respectful of other humans and their beliefs. Live and let live.

After the niceties I cut Alfred E. Neuman look-alike off.
CJ  I am happy in my belief system. Thank you. I'm making dinner for my family, and I'm not prepared to have a discussion.
As I'm closing the door AEN continues to speak. Blah, blah, blah.

I walk back into the kitchen. My daughter-in-law looks at me somewhat bewildered.

KBB  He was still talking.
CJ  I wasn't rude. Besides to me they're crossing boundaries by comin' to the door.
KBB  I've never seen that.

I now think she's yet again shocked by my gypsy-driven behaviour. She elaborates.

KBB  I've only lived in rural areas and that never happens.

Her disbelief is their audacity. Whew. I'm relieved. My conduct has incurred many an eye-rolling sigh (not necessarily from her...)

A couple hours later I head out the front door and there He is. A 3x4.5 glossy pic of glowing JC hand gently outstretched. The reverse side of the card reads "Faith in Christ can help you resolve personal and family challenges."

I find this amusing. Those lil rascals slipped it under the door perhaps implying I was in need of salvation. Was it my tattoos? Provocative clothing? Candor? Little did those youth-in-programming consider I live spirit at a level deeper than their allowed-comprehension. Or maybe I'm feeling a bit smug and they were just doing their thang.

I was drivin’ home early Sunday morning
Through Bakersfield,
Listening to gospel music on the coloured radio station,
And the preacher said: “You know you always have the lord by your side”
And I was so pleased to be informed of this
That I ran twenty red lights in his honour,
Thank you Jesus, thank you lord

Thank you Mick.

Thank you Mark.

Tuesday, 1 October 2013

Trust that all is well, because it is

I love numbers. I'm intrigued by this phenomenon I've created. A low-level manifestation kinda like close parking.*  In this numbers world I live in, the patterns I see daily can be a lil mind-blowing at times (ref my blog 22). So of course I've looked up my house number in Angel Numbers 101 (Doreen Virtue). Most numbers had 2 to 3 sentence explanations. Mine was a simple one-liner:

Trust that all is well, because it is.

I'm adopting this as my newest mantra. So... as long as I remember in the midst of chaos, or anything that remotely smells like drama, to take the path of least resistance, breathe, and trust that all is well, because it is, I can usually maintain a sunny disposition. Being an energetic Taurean (= a wee bit stubborn), my prior automation/programming, in an uncomfortable situation, was usually my ego surfacing in defense of any such nonsensical accusations or likeness thereof.  I am learning to continually make a conscious effort to shift and conduct myself in a manner of response ...rather than react... funnel my initial reaction through my Spock Filter of Neutrality before doing anything. In spiritual lingo, that's what awareness and alignment are all about.

At our core we feel best when we view the world through the proverbial rose-coloured glasses. It's because that whole pollyanna-thing has infinite positive influences on our overall wellbeing and quality of life - our earthwalk experience. And don't we all truly desire optimum health and peace of mind?

Energetically-speaking, being happy and joyful emits a higher vibration in our bodies and we feel good. When we feel bad we're experiencing emotions that are vibrationally lower; we're not at peace when something nasty is going down. It's against our core. And yes there are some people who have no conscience - humans are complex beings - but they're the minority, and their roots are from another planet, galaxy or dimension (there's deep subject...).

Of late, I've been watching Dr. Steven Greer. He speaks so much truth while delicately riding the fear-based conspiracy theory.

Although I prefer not to give my attention to the dark side, it's important to seek out information from a variety of sources and make up your own mind aka your reality.

There is so much more going on than we know. And I'm not jumping on the conspiracy bandwagon, I'm all about the spirituality. Alignment. Enlightenment. Living truthfully. Waking up. Awareness.  ...endless labels all indicative of living joyfully...

I've recently created my own YouTube channel - Cuppa Joy - with links to fantastic clips, and channels I subscribe to. Depending on the level of 'freak' you're into, there's Cool Stuff and Wake Up! categories ... the information is infinite, just like the Universe.

Sleep well, live large and trust that all is well, because it is.

*After watching The Secret a half dozen years ago I practiced the affirmation of "I park close". GoshDarn if it didn't work. And it continues to happen.
Drawback: In my attempt-to-be-active lifestyle, I actually like parking further away for those extra steps.