Wednesday, 12 February 2014

You're an Attractive Woman, however ...

At 45 I found myself, again, sitting on a counsellor's couch. Uugggghh. WTF. Seriously, what kind of a jackass was I in a past life? Not only was I most aware of this, my co-workers, albeit with love, also pointed it out. Repeatedly.

I was at a crossroads in a relationship and dealing with way too many children and ex-husbands. Got myself assigned to this counsellor-guy through the referral agency. Guess you get what you pay for. This was free.

Okay. I recognize the bitchiness but this dude bruised my ego. And that tender underbelly recognizes that Mr. Facesmacker's comments have proven invaluable as I've not forgotten ... and used them to thrust me forward.

FS  Facesmacker  very direct counsellor
CJ  Cuppa Joy me

My cupped hands holding up my weary head, tears rolling down my cheeks, I lament over the most recent crisis of my reality.

FS  I'm not buying it.
'Scuse me?
FS  I'm not buying it.

Doesn't even hand me a tissue. Focker.

I look up. Goddamn if he isn't right. At that moment I made the connection (ah-ha moment) on exactly how I was playing the victim. It was sooooo easy to see others playing the role but I hadn't recognized my own very special version.

I'm leaving from my 4th of 6 free visits (gratuities not expected. At least I don't think so. Though you'd be surprised at what services involve tipping).

FS  I can hardly wait til next week.
He's rubbing hands together with a bizarre, joyful smirk on his face.

OMG. Really? This is my life dude. Facesmacker. Focker.

FS  So, um, you're an attractive woman.
CJ  Thank you.
       Don't think I hadn't picked up on his sexual innuendos. 
FS  But in 10 years you won't be. So another 6 year relationship ... is that what you want? Cause that's where it's going. And the selection gets smaller. Many older men have relationships with younger women.

Wow Facesmacker. Tell me what you really think.

Fast forward 6ish years
Hmmm. Well Facesmacker was right about many things and ya I got it. I watched it all unfold. Over and over and freakin over again.


I still have a choice regarding the in 10 years comment.

I'm 3-and-a-bit years away from 55. The 10-year mark. And, Mr. Facesmacker, I am well on my way to looking absolutely fabulous. Stunning* actually. 
*see blog your name came up

Cause dude, I will be gracefully-strutting into your office and in my polished-toned voice ...
CJ  Would you say I'm an attractive woman?

And of many possible scenarios of what happens next, my favourite is -

FS  You're obviously a former client. And in need of services...

Haha. At times we choose to keep the veil on regardless of what may be blatantly obvious to the emotionally-detached observer.

Thank you Facesmacker

This Blog was written with loving thoughts of the hours of raucous laughter shared with my sista L and her beautiful daughter Shanny-anigans

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