This is What I Know

Well another crazy year has gone by and shaken up the world as we knew it.

Our unsustainable systems are crumbling and people are finding their voices and questioning their known existence. Some are holding on desperately with fear as the driving force.

I thought it a grand idea to gift myself a Tarot card reading to end this year and welcome change. One of my fave readers, a tarot master and friend of the ravens (she's super cool) gave me the clarity I was seeking.

I loved her summary. 

2021 was a 5 year (2 + 2 + 1); the number V card in the tarot is the Hierophant, the male counterpart to the High Priestess ruled by Taurus. The energy of the Hierophant is asking us to examine our beliefs.

Are your beliefs rigid and dogmatic?

Have the lessons you've learned served you well?

Is it time to find a new teacher?

Do you make decisions based on what you "should" do or are you tuned into your higher calling?

Wow... This energy presented itself in my life in a big way. I felt like the past few months my world crumbled as these very questions presented experiences that made me face alot of my fears. And throughout 2021 I watched the world around me seemingly reach a crescendo of judgement and division.

Thankfully the new year - an energetically charged number - 2022 brings the energy of VI The Lovers

Are your head and heart united?

Tune into your heart's desires

Take ownership of your choices

If you are acting out of love you are on the right path

Humanity is moving out of a 2000-year Fear paradigm into the Age of Aquarius just as the hippies have been singing out for 50 years. The new paradigm is that of a higher consciousness: Love, Faith and Possibility.

Transition takes time and those in fear - and afraid of change - are trying desperately to hold to the old paradigm. Time to surrender and enjoy the ride. Have faith we are going to a better existence.

I know I am 

In 2022 I will complete 60 loops around the sun. I will retire, sell my house and move into a whole new existence. This life has been great - I got my butt kicked and learned lots and it's time to level up.

My intention for 2022: Find Joy Every Day

Interestingly today's Tarot Card of the Day is XXI (21) The World. Good bye 2021 

Thanks for the ride! 

Things I Don't Do (sometimes)

There's a lot of judgement going on these days. We've served up the perfect atmosphere for humans to do what they do best: observe and comment on those around us and what we should and shouldn't be doing.

In this time of Covid, I proclaim myself to be a Distancer with regard to the Mask Debate. I see 3 groups: the Maskers, the Distancers, and the Indifferents.

The Maskers take the stand that if we all mask up everyone will be fine and this will go away. I had to snooze a friend on facebook as her daily pro-mask memes and messages had me feeling like the Jehovah Witness were continually at my door.

The Distancers (like me) maybe don't take such a firm stand and prefer to physical distance from people. Breathing freely is a beautiful thing and unless I'm within close proximity to another person in a confined space I choose to enjoy my 6 feet of space.

The Indifferents either don't believe there's a virus, don't care if there's a virus, or who knows may even be summoning the virus.

I find the Maskers interesting. Is it a level of safety and protection, or comfort in the anonymity of wearing a mask? With regularity a Masker will invade my 6 feet perhaps mistaking me for an Indifferent. I practice non-judgement however at times I can't help but sense a level of arrogance as I'm acknowledged with disdain ("a good citizen would wear a mask").

I refrain from engaging in the Mask Debate as to why I'm a Distancer but to be honest there's a actually a whole list of Things I Don't Do (sometimes).

I don't wear a bike helmet
I don't wear my seat belt 
I don't answer my phone when it rings
I don't brush my teeth every night
I don't answer the doorbell
I don't eat all my vegetables
I don't change flat tires (though I could but why not get someone else to?)

I'm not an irresponsible person by any means. I've raised 4 kids, hold a professional level job and am a contributing member of society. But I am a sovereign being and have the confidence in myself to assess situations and make choices for the greatest good.

I practice a "live and let live" attitude and look forward to a world where more of us can celebrate our differences rather than fear them.

Politicians will cycle through and Laws can be changed but the responsibility lies with all of us to practice tolerance, kindness and respect for each other on a daily basis.

I encourage people to open your minds and learn about the Universe and life around you. What a fantastic place and time we are in. The possibilities are endless! 

And write your own list of Things You Don't Do (sometimes).

Hit the Pause Button

As I do my part and stay home during this global COVID pandemic I'm reading alot from a variety of sources and making my own conclusions as a sovereign being on this planet.

Regardless what my, or anyone else's view is - was is it a bat that started this virus? was it planned? Isolate the population or herd immunity? In the big picture, does it really matter? Here we are and what'll you do with this time. Could be a curse or a gift. I'm choosing to look at the wonderful things happening from the Universe hitting the Pause button on humanity.

Fantastic things are happening. I believe the animals are rejoicing. Or perhaps they don't even notice because they're not focused on us! And mother earth is getting a much-needed deep breath as our air clears and the hum of human bees is silenced. Sitting outside is magnificent. I hear the stillness only interrupted by a myriad of bird song - and the odd neighbour mowing their lawn.

I see kindness and compassion for those who's lives have been up-ended. People becoming aware and looking out for each other on a mass scale. The whole world is in this - they are no different than I. As a collective, our hearts are opening.

My heart goes out to those who have had their worlds rocked, not just by covid but by natural disasters, family illness, accidents and life itself that continues daily. Our challenges bring us opportunities to experience being a human on this planet. It's just not always pretty but inevitably shows the preciousness of life itself.

I've been fortunate as there's been little disruption in my life, and what has been disrupted is good. The isolation has meant I'm doing my job from the comfort of my sanctuary. I've been wanting a change but didn't see it coming this way. I'm grateful for the opportunity to test the waters. Not having to continuously rush, it's so much easier to settle into the Now as it really doesn't matter what day or what time it is.

I feel more peaceful inside amidst the external chaos.

And maybe that's the takeaway. Practice living now. Enjoy those around you, reach out to others. Be kind. Breathe in the air and relish existence.

Hello 2020

In anticipation of the new year I'm finding myself affected in a profound way. Maybe because of the numeric aspect, afterall my number is 22 - not necessarily lucky, more like significant. And in terms of numerology 2020 is 22. I'm trusting in the Universe for significant and beyond...

And the number sounds so futuristic for a gal born in the 1960s. Weren't we supposed to be flying around like the Jetson's by now? 

But it's on a grander scale. It's more an aging thing. And what a gift it truly is to age.

The first few years after 50 were uncomfortable. I resisted being what I perceived as old. Things - specifically my body shape - were changing. Ugh! Gravity is a bitch but thankfully menopause ends... 

Now on the downside to 60, I feel differently and I'm grateful for every year that number grows. Beyond my own experiences, I've watched many struggle and suffer with aches, pains, illnesses and death within families, friends. The paradox of that sorrow is through that grief I have been able to find joy and gratitude in simply being alive.

Everything is precious and time is a commodity that not even the rich can buy However they can purchase regenerative IV treatments. How do you think the Royal family is so long lived? I've found balance. My sense of humour has improved. Why take it all so seriously? Yet another paradox - the things that should be taken seriously are. Soul has replaced many aspects of ego and the need to be right. okay, still working on that...  I'm learning to be truly present, understand what love really is and take great delight in observing life happen. It's a magnificent unfolding story.

I told my grandson I wanted to be at his 50th birthday party. That would make me 99. Game on!

It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighbourhood

It's Saturday. I'm home and loving it. Working the grind, the Monday to Friday slavitude, can be tiring so I'm grateful to be able to allow my day to unfold with the rhythm of my heart.

I have a few errands to run and I like to get out and take care of business so I can hunker down at home for the afternoon. Plus I'm outta weed...

Being a list person, I make a plan. Bank, groceries, dispensary. I live in a smallish city so I'm fortunate that the 3 stops will get me back home in just over an hour. I love the area where I've spent the lion's share of my 55 years on the planet. My first stop at the bank is to open an RRSP account so I can lessen the amount of tax I seem to owe the government every year in spite of the thousands I've already handed over. I'd rather do that and get the deduction and keep my money rather than having more tax taken off my diminishing pay cheque. The process is easy - the bank teller is knowledgeable and asks me all the right questions to ensure I'm opening the right kind of account. Within 15 minutes I'm done and onto the next stop. Woohoo.

Begin a vegan can be a bit challenging for groceries. There are 3 stores within my area that supply the foods I eat and I know where to go for the cheapest price for the various products. Today I'm stopping at Whole Foods, an absolutely beautiful shopping experience. The energy in this store generated from the fresh organic foods and generally happy people make it a high vibrational atmosphere.

My last stop is the dispensary. I'm not a drinker (I'd fill a few blogs to explain why... lol) but I do enjoy a puff. I'm grateful for the convenience and guidance a dispensary provides. I'm not advocating chronic smoking however it beats the hell outta meeting some teenager in an alley. If I can go to a liquor store to buy booze, why can't I purchase a mind-altering substance of a different kind in a regulated manner. That's a whole other argument which seems to be playing out and moving forward.

I'm a member at Trees - a premier dispensary in our area. As the legalities get worked out in Canada, Trees is positioning themselves to be a frontrunner in the distribution following all current laws, displaying proper permits, well-paid knowledgeable staff, and environmentally-conscious. They even have a recycling program for their packaging giving 10% off when you bring back the plastic sleeves.

There's no other customers when I arrive so I start chatting with the two fellas behind the counter both of whom I've seen several times before. They're upbeat and talking about how spectacular their walk to work was this morning and how it's Spring and the birds are back. I'm delighted that these 'young guys' are in tune with nature (though they're probably late 20s-30ish). The one guy starts talking about his experience living in Edmonton where the magpies responded to him playing his didgeridoo. He made friends with them and they mimicked each other's sounds back and forth. They noticed his routine and would wait for him to come home from work and play with them. After a few months he had up to sixty birds singing with him. He said he loved communicating with birds and knew several different calls, and proceeded to perform them. It was a magical exchange and it filled my heart. Beautiful people. I have faith that all will be well in this world with the millenials. I finished my transaction and was about to leave when the guy with the dreadlocks (it is a dispensary after all...) told me to hold on. He went over to a jar and grabbed a pre-rolled J, handed it to me and said thanks for chatting with us. My heart wells. He goes on to say what a great customer I am, always happy and smiling when I come in and they're genuinely glad to see me. I'm moved to tears by the kind words and the gesture. Ahhh you're gonna make me cry, I say. All three guys in the store then say goodbye calling me by my name.

I walk out to my vehicle feeling so blissful in my world. Grateful to be alive and surrounded by beautiful souls.

However it does occur to me when you're on a first name basis with the weed guys I might be too good of a customer!

Happy 420

I am a Grown-Up

A few weeks ago my son fixed up my bike for me. I've got a somewhat derelict of a two-wheeler complete with fenders and a rat-trap though the upper hinge portion is long gone (that's why they invented bungi cords!).  Originally I borrowed the bike from a co-worker who's ex-wife had left it behind. That was over 8 years ago and that machine just morphed into mine. The memory foam seat is well worn with my butt impression.

L'il Black, as I fondly call her, was dormant for a few years. She stayed at my mother's place 2 hours north of my home for 2 years as I didn't have a vehicle to bring her back. I finally did and again she sat...

My son (handsome and handy) pumped up the tires, oiled & adjusted the chain, tightened the spokes and checked the brake cables. I was off.

I had forgotten the utter sense of freedom and joy my soul felt gliding along the pathways. I was elated. I'd found a place where I paradoxically lost myself in how alive I was.

L'il Black and I have subsequently spent many hours together exploring the extensive trail system in the beautiful city where I reside. My goal, for years now, has been to cycle to work roughly 10 km into the city about 35 minutes along the scenic cycling route sans car traffic. A rejuvenating ride indeed.

Last weekend I thought I'd explore one of the other cycle routes and headed north with 3 water bottles strapped to the rack on the back fender. I had my bike helmet on the handle bars...  here's where the disconnect between me and other people begins... In our area it is a law (of sorts) to wear a helmet. I do not like to wear a helmet, or a hat of any kind really. Not just cause it wrecks my hair but it's not comfortable, I get hot, yada, yada, yada. Basically I hate stuff on my head.

So I'm blissfully riding along a trail. A pack of riders pass by me decked out in spandex gear and aerodynamic helmets complete with the fancy shoes that fit in the toe clips. All male and from what I can tell roughly my age group (50+). One of the jackaroos chuckles to his buddy as he passes by "good place for the helmet".  I realize it's meant for me and my ego bubbles up and I holler "thanks for your comments". I am incensed. The group veers off to a coffee house and I continue along the bike path playing the interaction over and over again in my mind wishing I'd thought of some wittier response or even the ego's favourite... fuck off! For the next 15 minutes I can't quell the voice and I ride harder in an effort to switch my focus and release the energy.

Why does his comment irritate me so deeply?  This is why:

I am a Grown-Up. 

To refine it further I am a sovereign being fully capable of assessing a situation and taking appropriate action to ensure my safety.

I'm fed up with the North American attitude of safety-ing ourselves to death in an effort to circumvent any possibility of something not nice happening.  Don't get me wrong, just as the saying goes there is a time and a place, similarly where there is a need measures will be taken.

I've successfully ridden a bike for over 50 years and will continue to enjoy the breeze in my hair as I connect with myself and my world on my faithful steed.

Hello said a small voice

I got home today, sat down at my beloved HP window to the world, and my gmail was open to a facebook notification from last April.

What the what?  How does my email open itself up?

Last spring I took an online writing course. It was wonderful. However I'm shy at my core (some people find that one hard to believe) and wasn't much at the participation aspect of the course.

I finally got brave and wrote a little ditty to post on the class wall and the instructor commented. And that's what email my computer met me with this afternoon.

I haven’t written in months and perhaps this was a nudge to blog?  I don’t know. But here it is.

Spirit you are so cool...

Hello said a small voice from the back.

Slowly they turned, expecting to see someone but what they saw was a golden light emanating from a spot on the ground. It grew and as the light grew so did the sound. But it wasn’t words… it was music, like a choir singing, or was it?
No one really knew. What they did know was how they felt.
Warm and joyful. Elated and content at the same time. Smiles formed on their faces as tears welled in their eyes. Held in this space for an immeasurable length of time, seemingly cradled in an energetic bubble of love.
As quickly as it started, the sound silenced and the light dimmed, and they could see her.
You came they said.
Yes said the small voice, I found you all.

I do belong.