The Winds of Change

A year ago today the life that I knew started to unravel. A series of events set in motion by a storm, the literal winds of change.

I live on an island in the Pacific Northwest. Last fall we experienced significant rainfall - much higher than normal  - and the water level of the creek that bordered my property rose quickly and flooded my house for the first time in 58 years. In past the creek had overflowed less than a handful of times with watercovering the lawn but never entering the garage.

I was on the mainland visiting my daughter for the weekend. At 7am I woke to my phone ringing. It was my tenant, a lovely young gal who had only moved into my basement suite two weeks prior.

"There's 4 inches of water throughout the basement" she said. "I don't know what I should do".

I was at minimum 4 to 5 hours before I could get home. It was over an hour to the ferry terminal and then a 2 hour ferry ride to the island.

I told her I'd call my partner and have him come by and assess and provide direction.

I'd been dating John for 5 years and admittedly it wasn't going well. It felt like we were stuck in a rut and there were some things we couldn't move past. He was emotionally unavailable in some aspects of our relationship and it was wearing on me. It was make or break time.

I called John and told him about the flooding. I knew he would be on his way to work shortly and asked if he could go by my place and check on the house and the tenant. 

"What am I supposed to do?" he said. I was a bit dumb-founded. If the tables were turned I would've been at his place in a heartbeat taking whatever actions were necessary.

"She's a 23-year old girl" I said "please go have a look".  In my head I'm thinking please show up in my life. Please be my partner. He did go thankfully, took the photo above but left without going inside... A snapshot of our relationship.

To add to the mix, three days earlier on November 12, I had received the news that my brother, my only sibling, had stage 4 cancer (lungs, bone, brain) and the prognosis wasn't good...

The Universe was serving up some heavy stuff.

On the day of the flood, it took several hours for me to get home. Raging winds that accompanied the torrential rainfall cancelled ferry sailings leaving me stuck at the terminal with major anticipation of what lie ahead. 

The water level reached 8" at the height of the flooding leaving a dirty line on the walls. It had receded to about 2" by the time I walked through the door. What a mess. Floor boards had lifted and were floating randomly. Interestingly I didn't cry. I surveyed the damage while a plan formulated in my head. John came over after work. "This is major flooding, definitely an insurance claim".

I was planning on selling my house the following spring as I was retiring. I certainly didn't need this major obstacle along with the other stuff on my plate.

Stoically I got the ball rolling and within four months I had cleaned house literally. Hours of hard work, purging physically and emotionally. It was May - my house was for sale with a fully renovated lower floor, my brother had stabilized, I was about to retire and John was gone.

In the summer I moved to a new community, buying a spectacular house with my oldest son. He & the fam (wife, 3 kids) live upstairs and I've got myself a groovy little ground level suite with endless access to my joyful grandchildren. 

As I reflect on the past year I'm amazed and pleased with myself for having the courage to ride the winds of change and create a new life for myself. I sleep well, stopped biting my nails and feel peaceful inside ... well most of the time...

Everyone deserves Happiness

When exciting things happen to people like a financial windfall, a new job, or winning a prize, I often hear "you deserve it" and usually it's "good people" they're talking about. Or when something terrible happens we hear "they're such good people, how did this happen to them?"

I'm not buying it. The statement begs the question "who is deserving" assuming bad people deserve all bad things and good people should only be subject to good things. It's based in judgement.

Everyone deserves Happiness. No questions asked.

Did you ever wonder how "bad people" got bad?  Most were likely subject to abuse or other mistreatment quite possibly from childhood. Or maybe life has kicked the crap out of them and they're tired & feel like giving up, or maybe they're angry and feisty. We rarely know what someone else's story is. 

There's so much going on behind closed doors - that seemingly perfect family may not be so perfect. And that family that appears dysfunctional may have more love & laughter going on between those 4 walls that some of us may never experience.

I'm grateful that as I've aged my heart has expanded with grand compassion and understanding of many walks of life. When I feel judgement rising in my psyche it's time to cool the jets and open my heart. I've experienced both "good" and "bad" things and it's just a perception of how that situation is affecting me at the time. I can't tell you how many "bad" things have led to incredible joy and love and became "good" things.

Take a deep breathe, love thyself and wish buckets of goodness on everyone as we all deserve to be happy.

May everything on or of this earth be free of pain
May everything on or of this earth be free of emotional and physical suffering
May everything on or of this earth take care of themselves with ease
May everything on or of this earth be at peace

Freedom is a broad word

These days there's much going on globally in the name of Freedom. 

For me, it's Freedom of Choice

This is my story. When the vaxines were mandated I no longer had Freedom of Choice. I had to be jabbed which I didn't find necessary given my circumstances or I would lose my job. 

At the time I was 3 months away from retirement, working from home and I live alone. Not to mention my attention to my overall health.

I'm a vegan. For me getting jabbed was like plopping a roast beef in front me and saying I have to eat it. It's not just about killing animals to feed me, I believe eating meat is not healthy for me. It's part of a regiment I've been following for years with the intent of taking personal responsbility for my health. 

I eat well, exercise daily (almost), meditate and practice kindness. I consider myself a child over the universe practicing the ways of the Buddha. 

Top of the list is Harm None. And that's in all facets of life not just whether I get jabbed for other peoples wellbeing.

Trust me, I'm no saint. I do eat potato chips and candy sometimes, I curse at inconsiderate drivers and battle with the Committee of Assholes living in my head. I didn't come to living this way without a roller coaster of missteps. I'm not 'pro-' or 'anti-' anything. But I do believe Freedom of Choice when it comes to our bodies is paramount. As is being of service to others shown by kindness, compassion and tolerance. 

At the very least we should show human decency towards one another regardless of differences.

Mudslinging, forceful and passive aggressive behaviours are dividing the masses on this issue of Freedom - a broad word and has many interpretations generally based in personal experiences. Before you paint the movement with one brush, take the time to listen - everyone has a story.

If you can't understand a different perspective there's always acceptance. Allow others to have options on how they choose to experience life. 

I have faith and trust that all will unfold as it should. These are the growing pains of a changing society towards more heart-centred experiences.

This is What I Know

Well another crazy year has gone by and shaken up the world as we knew it.

Our unsustainable systems are crumbling and people are finding their voices and questioning their known existence. Some are holding on desperately with fear as the driving force.

I thought it a grand idea to gift myself a Tarot card reading to end this year and welcome change. One of my fave readers, a tarot master and friend of the ravens (she's super cool) gave me the clarity I was seeking.

I loved her summary. 

2021 was a 5 year (2 + 2 + 1); the number V card in the tarot is the Hierophant, the male counterpart to the High Priestess ruled by Taurus. The energy of the Hierophant is asking us to examine our beliefs.

Are your beliefs rigid and dogmatic?

Have the lessons you've learned served you well?

Is it time to find a new teacher?

Do you make decisions based on what you "should" do or are you tuned into your higher calling?

Wow... This energy presented itself in my life in a big way. I felt like the past few months my world crumbled as these very questions presented experiences that made me face alot of my fears. And throughout 2021 I watched the world around me seemingly reach a crescendo of judgement and division.

Thankfully the new year - an energetically charged number - 2022 brings the energy of VI The Lovers

Are your head and heart united?

Tune into your heart's desires

Take ownership of your choices

If you are acting out of love you are on the right path

Humanity is moving out of a 2000-year Fear paradigm into the Age of Aquarius just as the hippies have been singing out for 50 years. The new paradigm is that of a higher consciousness: Love, Faith and Possibility.

Transition takes time and those in fear - and afraid of change - are trying desperately to hold to the old paradigm. Time to surrender and enjoy the ride. Have faith we are going to a better existence.

I know I am 

In 2022 I will complete 60 loops around the sun. I will retire, sell my house and move into a whole new existence. This life has been great - I got my butt kicked and learned lots and it's time to level up.

My intention for 2022: Find Joy Every Day

Interestingly today's Tarot Card of the Day is XXI (21) The World. Good bye 2021 

Thanks for the ride! 

Things I Don't Do (sometimes)

There's a lot of judgement going on these days. We've served up the perfect atmosphere for humans to do what they do best: observe and comment on those around us and what we should and shouldn't be doing.

In this time of Covid, I proclaim myself to be a Distancer with regard to the Mask Debate. I see 3 groups: the Maskers, the Distancers, and the Indifferents.

The Maskers take the stand that if we all mask up everyone will be fine and this will go away. I had to snooze a friend on facebook as her daily pro-mask memes and messages had me feeling like the Jehovah Witness were continually at my door.

The Distancers (like me) maybe don't take such a firm stand and prefer to physical distance from people. Breathing freely is a beautiful thing and unless I'm within close proximity to another person in a confined space I choose to enjoy my 6 feet of space.

The Indifferents either don't believe there's a virus, don't care if there's a virus, or who knows may even be summoning the virus.

I find the Maskers interesting. Is it a level of safety and protection, or comfort in the anonymity of wearing a mask? With regularity a Masker will invade my 6 feet perhaps mistaking me for an Indifferent. I practice non-judgement however at times I can't help but sense a level of arrogance as I'm acknowledged with disdain ("a good citizen would wear a mask").

I refrain from engaging in the Mask Debate as to why I'm a Distancer but to be honest there's a actually a whole list of Things I Don't Do (sometimes).

I don't wear a bike helmet
I don't wear my seat belt 
I don't answer my phone when it rings
I don't brush my teeth every night
I don't answer the doorbell
I don't eat all my vegetables
I don't change flat tires (though I could but why not get someone else to?)

I'm not an irresponsible person by any means. I've raised 4 kids, hold a professional level job and am a contributing member of society. But I am a sovereign being and have the confidence in myself to assess situations and make choices for the greatest good.

I practice a "live and let live" attitude and look forward to a world where more of us can celebrate our differences rather than fear them.

Politicians will cycle through and Laws can be changed but the responsibility lies with all of us to practice tolerance, kindness and respect for each other on a daily basis.

I encourage people to open your minds and learn about the Universe and life around you. What a fantastic place and time we are in. The possibilities are endless! 

And write your own list of Things You Don't Do (sometimes).

Hit the Pause Button

As I do my part and stay home during this global COVID pandemic I'm reading alot from a variety of sources and making my own conclusions as a sovereign being on this planet.

Regardless what my, or anyone else's view is - was is it a bat that started this virus? was it planned? Isolate the population or herd immunity? In the big picture, does it really matter? Here we are and what'll you do with this time. Could be a curse or a gift. I'm choosing to look at the wonderful things happening from the Universe hitting the Pause button on humanity.

Fantastic things are happening. I believe the animals are rejoicing. Or perhaps they don't even notice because they're not focused on us! And mother earth is getting a much-needed deep breath as our air clears and the hum of human bees is silenced. Sitting outside is magnificent. I hear the stillness only interrupted by a myriad of bird song - and the odd neighbour mowing their lawn.

I see kindness and compassion for those who's lives have been up-ended. People becoming aware and looking out for each other on a mass scale. The whole world is in this - they are no different than I. As a collective, our hearts are opening.

My heart goes out to those who have had their worlds rocked, not just by covid but by natural disasters, family illness, accidents and life itself that continues daily. Our challenges bring us opportunities to experience being a human on this planet. It's just not always pretty but inevitably shows the preciousness of life itself.

I've been fortunate as there's been little disruption in my life, and what has been disrupted is good. The isolation has meant I'm doing my job from the comfort of my sanctuary. I've been wanting a change but didn't see it coming this way. I'm grateful for the opportunity to test the waters. Not having to continuously rush, it's so much easier to settle into the Now as it really doesn't matter what day or what time it is.

I feel more peaceful inside amidst the external chaos.

And maybe that's the takeaway. Practice living now. Enjoy those around you, reach out to others. Be kind. Breathe in the air and relish existence.

Hello 2020

In anticipation of the new year I'm finding myself affected in a profound way. Maybe because of the numeric aspect, afterall my number is 22 - not necessarily lucky, more like significant. And in terms of numerology 2020 is 22. I'm trusting in the Universe for significant and beyond...

And the number sounds so futuristic for a gal born in the 1960s. Weren't we supposed to be flying around like the Jetson's by now? 

But it's on a grander scale. It's more an aging thing. And what a gift it truly is to age.

The first few years after 50 were uncomfortable. I resisted being what I perceived as old. Things - specifically my body shape - were changing. Ugh! Gravity is a bitch but thankfully menopause ends... 

Now on the downside to 60, I feel differently and I'm grateful for every year that number grows. Beyond my own experiences, I've watched many struggle and suffer with aches, pains, illnesses and death within families, friends. The paradox of that sorrow is through that grief I have been able to find joy and gratitude in simply being alive.

Everything is precious and time is a commodity that not even the rich can buy However they can purchase regenerative IV treatments. How do you think the Royal family is so long lived? I've found balance. My sense of humour has improved. Why take it all so seriously? Yet another paradox - the things that should be taken seriously are. Soul has replaced many aspects of ego and the need to be right. okay, still working on that...  I'm learning to be truly present, understand what love really is and take great delight in observing life happen. It's a magnificent unfolding story.

I told my grandson I wanted to be at his 50th birthday party. That would make me 99. Game on!