The Tenant

In August of 2020 my wee family that had been occupying the bottom floor of my house, moved out for larger quarters which they desperately needed. We had a great rhythm, minded our Ps & Qs and when covid hit and we locked down, we had a houseful and really enjoyed each other's company.

We had Sunday night dinners where we took turns dressing up as one of us

Admittedly I was somewhat devastated after they left but was able to, after a week or so, turn my sadness to gratitude for having my son initially, then his wife and soonafter sons, be daily fixtures in my life.

For financial reasons I needed to rent out the space - a cute 1 bdrm & den suite. Garage access which is probably more suited to a guy. You even get half the double garage!

I had a couple viewings and on the third I found myself quite anxious about the guy coming to see the place. I remember almost wanting to call it off. When he arrived Tom (name changed) seemed quite personable. He'd had a bad go of things once covid hit. Lost his job, marriage broke up so he decided to move back to the west coast where he had a son from a previous relationship. Once the way his truck broke down, tools got stolen. You get the picture. I commented, wow the universe is sure kicking your butt. He agreed! Went on to tell me how he's started reading some books on that subject. Self-help, karma and the like. At 43 his life was kind of a mess and he was desperate for a place.

Being an empath I associated my anxiety before his arrival to be me picking up on his energy. While we chatted I decided to go with what was being presented (ref The Surrender Experiment by Michael Singer) and offered him the place. As he was tight for money I agreed to a lower damage deposit even though he had a small dog. Tom also needed furniture. I happened to have and provided him with a queen size bed, small couch, coffee table, 2 chairs/table and a couple area rugs. I'm a compassionate person and I feel called to be of service to those in need.

It didn't take long to realize what a grand mistake I'd made.

My first inkling was when I went into the garage and found he'd helped himself to some of my spare furniture to put his drywall tools on (one item was my grandmother's delicate end table). I quickly hid the table and put his tools on the ground quite clearly marking the territory. In the days following I created a wall down the middle of the garage as he clearly didn't understand boundaries.

Barely 15 minutes later I went to attend to my laundry - it's a shared space. Well Tom had taken my clothes out of the washer and ran the dryer thinking he was being helpful. I wanted to scream and yell "Don't touch my shit!". Seriously who does that?

Instead I firmly said: Please don't do that. Some of my clothes are to be hung dry. I'm very attentive and it won't stay there long if you're in need of the machines. 
His reply: My ex-wife didn't like that either.
My response: in my head only  Then why would you do that with my clothes?  Duffus!*
*a foolish person as exhibited by extraordinarily bad choices

Later I commented to my fella, I don't understand your species. If you saw I had removed my stuff and put yours on the floor, why would you then move something else? An alien species at times me thinks.

Tom also had a very loud booming voice and liked to talk on speaker phone. Inside and Out. Or watch a hockey game outside. Many an August evening I spent inside with the windows closed just to avoid the details, complete with f-bombs, booming through the neighbourhood. We all knew Tom's troubles.

He removed the door to the bedroom citing he didn't need it which was fine. However he chose to put it outside under a tarp shelter. When I noticed this I moved to the garage for safe winter storage. Otherwise I'd have no door that fit the space when he left (which was now something I had begun to think about).

I put the garden hose away in the latter part of October as Tom always forgot to turn the water off at the tap. We were getting some frosty nights and I didn't need a hose splitting because a forty-odd-year-old man from central Canada didn't seem to be aware of that possibility.

It was late November when I was stowing my collection of garden ornaments safely in the shelter of the garage that Tom mentioned a mouse problem. He said he'd bought a trap but it was too small for the mouse. He gestured the size of rodent he'd seen. That's a rat I said.

Turns out Tom was leaving garbage in the garage. The house backs onto a creek which ups the popularity of the area for rat families and as Tom tended to leave the garage door slightly open (turns out that was his smoking area) and they sniffed out his cache. He said he'd take care of it. 

This is when I began to realize that Tom was a talk-but-no-action person. I used to be married to one of those. Doesn't mesh with my configuration.

A week or so later when my daughter and I heard the scuttling in the walls I set up rat traps and caught a brown one within a couple days. Note: this is against my belief as a somewhat-practicing Buddhist. However I needed to set a boundary. I let Tom know the problem was taken care of.

Tom let me know he'd be away for a week before Christmas. The day after he left I noticed poop in the shared laundry area, furnace room - and without venturing too far - throughout the suite. Dude was living like this. Then, right in front of me, Ratatouille ran from the bathroom to the furnace room. I screamed, booked it upstairs, slamming the door behind me blocking any access.

My daughter ran block with a tennis racquet in hand as I vacuumed the entire place. We set traps and patiently waited. Next day I went to check on the traps. One was gone... no trap, no rat. Next day, no further droppings. Seems we got him, but where was he?  

When Tom returned I talked to him about a number of things (condition of place on the top of the list) and mentioned the rat may have crawled off stuck in the trap and he may want to check the pile of clothes adjacent to the furnace room...  Sure enough he felt inclined to text me a picture of the black fella. A confirmation it had been found would have sufficed.

We muddled through the next few months and I prayed to the rental gods that he would move out. I felt uncomfortable with him in my home and only did laundry when he was out working for the day which became a rarity in the winter. I bought more underwear and socks so I didn't have to brave the shared area.

The final straw came when Tom mentioned 'your' fridge is leaking. My first thought was the upstairs appliance was leaking and coming through the ceiling in the suite. He went on to say he'd put a towel down a week ago and now it was getting quite wet and he had to put down more towels. I still envisioned damage somewhere. I asked that he defrost the fridge as a first step in case there was ice build-up or the like. He said he would do that.

I was stressing the laminate flooring was damaged as I hadn't clarified if the leak was interior or exterior. The next morning I thought I'd take a quick peek to ease my mind. Tom was actually at work so the coast was clear. 

I went to the freezer first as that's where ice build-up would be. There wasn't ice build-up but there was a dead rabbit's head with-no-face in the freezer door. WHAT THE FUCK?!! I ran back upstairs, grabbed my phone and took a photo. Seriously, what's with this guy... 

My sons were freaked out I was living alone in the house with this dude down below. This guy had to go.

I left him a letter the next day giving him 4 months to vacate. I would be renovating the upstairs kitchen and bathroom in preparation to sell my house and would need use of the downstairs facilities. Once that was complete my daughter would be occupying the space.

Thankfully there was no push-back. I said I'd be happy to provide a reference... 

One evening not long after the rabbit-head find, Tom was having the usual speaker phone conversation as he paced about the floor below. I thought I might as well and surrender and have a listen. As the universe would have it just at that moment Tom bellowed Hey Fitzy really liked that rabbit head. Oh my lord he was feeding it to that scraggly little terrior dog of his. Personally I would not touch it. I did once and did a full hand scrub afterwards. I don't think that dog had been bathed in years, poor little fella.

At least I had my answer to the freakish surprise in his freezer. I was not in danger.

Tom left within 2 months. I was getting anxious awaiting his departure sensing the condition of the place. I can't say I was surprised... the place hadn't been vacuumed in months; beverages had been spilled with no clean up and he even had the gall to take a few of the furnished items.

But he was gone and I would no longer be subject to the sight of him in his tighty-whities taking his dog out for a poop...

The World of Cubing

I have a fabulous 12-year old grandson who lights up my world. I would do anything for this boy (provided it's not illegal or immoral). A couple times a month I get the privilege of picking him up from school where our ritual is to visit a nearby coffee shop; his usual is the strawberry banana smoothie and I enjoy my afternoon Americano. 

We play 'smart games' on the internet - GeoGuessr - a virtual atmosphere moving down streets, looking at buildings, vehicles, signs and storefronts guessing where you are in the world (and we're pretty good at it!). And map quizzes - naming the correct country for a specific area such as Europe, Eurasia and Africa. We're Canadian - it doesn't take long to name the provinces in our country but matching up all 50 states in the U.S. took a bit to master.

About a year and half ago the little fella took up solving Rubik's cubes and he's a natural. Of course he's easily cajoled me into buying numerous cubes (who knew there was such a variety) and his collection now stands to close to 100. Watching his fingers in warp speed spin the layers of the cubes is amazing not to mention the number of algorithms he's memorized, just blows my mind.

The lad has entered a number of competitions and the energy at those events is wonderful. Kids of all ages gather completely oblivious to age, race or ability differences. Let this be an example of how our world as a whole should interact.

Recently he and I ventured out to a one-day competition taking a ferry (we live on an island) to the big city where over 100 competitors would compete with their 2x2s, 3x3s, pyraminx and 4x4s challenging their minds and agility. The format is brilliant - you compete only against yourself with a judge present to oversee the process - and the almighty timer.

The boy has amazing times averaging solving the typical 3x3 cube in 10 seconds. Yes seconds! I'd be lucky to solve it in 10 days or weeks would be more likely.

It was the last event of the day... the 2x2. There are five attempts with the lowest and highest times thrown out and the average of the other three being the final score. The kid was doing his personal best and on the last attempt got a mind-blowing 1.8 seconds. I was elated! Only problem was he forgot to turn on the official timer and was disqualified. He moved quickly from the gaming table packing up his stuff and I could tell he was choking back the tears. I gathered up my things, turned around and he was gone. 

I found him in the parking lot sitting on the curb by the car. "You okay?" I asked. "Nona you don't understand, I was on the podium" he sobbed. I was broken-hearted for him. A simple yet costly mistake. We drove back to the hotel in silence. I just didn't know what to say that might console him. We stopped for snacks; he wanted to stay in the car. 

"You know sweetie, even Olympic athletes make mistakes".  He turned to me and said "Thanks but I wasn't thinking about anymore til you just brought it up". Dang... I went into the store and bought his favourite bag of chips and beverage hoping to redeem myself...

The Winds of Change

A year ago today the life that I knew started to unravel. A series of events set in motion by a storm, the literal winds of change.

I live on an island in the Pacific Northwest. Last fall we experienced significant rainfall - much higher than normal  - and the water level of the creek that bordered my property rose quickly and flooded my house for the first time in 58 years. In past the creek had overflowed less than a handful of times with watercovering the lawn but never entering the garage.

I was on the mainland visiting my daughter for the weekend. At 7am I woke to my phone ringing. It was my tenant, a lovely young gal who had only moved into my basement suite two weeks prior.

"There's 4 inches of water throughout the basement" she said. "I don't know what I should do".

I was at minimum 4 to 5 hours before I could get home. It was over an hour to the ferry terminal and then a 2 hour ferry ride to the island.

I told her I'd call my partner and have him come by and assess and provide direction.

I'd been dating John for 5 years and admittedly it wasn't going well. It felt like we were stuck in a rut and there were some things we couldn't move past. He was emotionally unavailable in some aspects of our relationship and it was wearing on me. It was make or break time.

I called John and told him about the flooding. I knew he would be on his way to work shortly and asked if he could go by my place and check on the house and the tenant. 

"What am I supposed to do?" he said. I was a bit dumb-founded. If the tables were turned I would've been at his place in a heartbeat taking whatever actions were necessary.

"She's a 23-year old girl" I said "please go have a look".  In my head I'm thinking please show up in my life. Please be my partner. He did go thankfully, took the photo above but left without going inside... A snapshot of our relationship.

To add to the mix, three days earlier on November 12, I had received the news that my brother, my only sibling, had stage 4 cancer (lungs, bone, brain) and the prognosis wasn't good...

The Universe was serving up some heavy stuff.

On the day of the flood, it took several hours for me to get home. Raging winds that accompanied the torrential rainfall cancelled ferry sailings leaving me stuck at the terminal with major anticipation of what lie ahead. 

The water level reached 8" at the height of the flooding leaving a dirty line on the walls. It had receded to about 2" by the time I walked through the door. What a mess. Floor boards had lifted and were floating randomly. Interestingly I didn't cry. I surveyed the damage while a plan formulated in my head. John came over after work. "This is major flooding, definitely an insurance claim".

I was planning on selling my house the following spring as I was retiring. I certainly didn't need this major obstacle along with the other stuff on my plate.

Stoically I got the ball rolling and within four months I had cleaned house literally. Hours of hard work, purging physically and emotionally. It was May - my house was for sale with a fully renovated lower floor, my brother had stabilized, I was about to retire and John was gone.

In the summer I moved to a new community, buying a spectacular house with my oldest son. He & the fam (wife, 3 kids) live upstairs and I've got myself a groovy little ground level suite with endless access to my joyful grandchildren. 

As I reflect on the past year I'm amazed and pleased with myself for having the courage to ride the winds of change and create a new life for myself. I sleep well, stopped biting my nails and feel peaceful inside ... well most of the time...

Everyone deserves Happiness

When exciting things happen to people like a financial windfall, a new job, or winning a prize, I often hear "you deserve it" and usually it's "good people" they're talking about. Or when something terrible happens we hear "they're such good people, how did this happen to them?"

I'm not buying it. The statement begs the question "who is deserving" assuming bad people deserve all bad things and good people should only be subject to good things. It's based in judgement.

Everyone deserves Happiness. No questions asked.

Did you ever wonder how "bad people" got bad?  Most were likely subject to abuse or other mistreatment quite possibly from childhood. Or maybe life has kicked the crap out of them and they're tired & feel like giving up, or maybe they're angry and feisty. We rarely know what someone else's story is. 

There's so much going on behind closed doors - that seemingly perfect family may not be so perfect. And that family that appears dysfunctional may have more love & laughter going on between those 4 walls that some of us may never experience.

I'm grateful that as I've aged my heart has expanded with grand compassion and understanding of many walks of life. When I feel judgement rising in my psyche it's time to cool the jets and open my heart. I've experienced both "good" and "bad" things and it's just a perception of how that situation is affecting me at the time. I can't tell you how many "bad" things have led to incredible joy and love and became "good" things.

Take a deep breathe, love thyself and wish buckets of goodness on everyone as we all deserve to be happy.

May everything on or of this earth be free of pain
May everything on or of this earth be free of emotional and physical suffering
May everything on or of this earth take care of themselves with ease
May everything on or of this earth be at peace

Freedom is a broad word

These days there's much going on globally in the name of Freedom. 

For me, it's Freedom of Choice

This is my story. When the vaxines were mandated I no longer had Freedom of Choice. I had to be jabbed which I didn't find necessary given my circumstances or I would lose my job. 

At the time I was 3 months away from retirement, working from home and I live alone. Not to mention my attention to my overall health.

I'm a vegan. For me getting jabbed was like plopping a roast beef in front me and saying I have to eat it. It's not just about killing animals to feed me, I believe eating meat is not healthy for me. It's part of a regiment I've been following for years with the intent of taking personal responsbility for my health. 

I eat well, exercise daily (almost), meditate and practice kindness. I consider myself a child over the universe practicing the ways of the Buddha. 

Top of the list is Harm None. And that's in all facets of life not just whether I get jabbed for other peoples wellbeing.

Trust me, I'm no saint. I do eat potato chips and candy sometimes, I curse at inconsiderate drivers and battle with the Committee of Assholes living in my head. I didn't come to living this way without a roller coaster of missteps. I'm not 'pro-' or 'anti-' anything. But I do believe Freedom of Choice when it comes to our bodies is paramount. As is being of service to others shown by kindness, compassion and tolerance. 

At the very least we should show human decency towards one another regardless of differences.

Mudslinging, forceful and passive aggressive behaviours are dividing the masses on this issue of Freedom - a broad word and has many interpretations generally based in personal experiences. Before you paint the movement with one brush, take the time to listen - everyone has a story.

If you can't understand a different perspective there's always acceptance. Allow others to have options on how they choose to experience life. 

I have faith and trust that all will unfold as it should. These are the growing pains of a changing society towards more heart-centred experiences.

This is What I Know

Well another crazy year has gone by and shaken up the world as we knew it.

Our unsustainable systems are crumbling and people are finding their voices and questioning their known existence. Some are holding on desperately with fear as the driving force.

I thought it a grand idea to gift myself a Tarot card reading to end this year and welcome change. One of my fave readers, a tarot master and friend of the ravens (she's super cool) gave me the clarity I was seeking.

I loved her summary. 

2021 was a 5 year (2 + 2 + 1); the number V card in the tarot is the Hierophant, the male counterpart to the High Priestess ruled by Taurus. The energy of the Hierophant is asking us to examine our beliefs.

Are your beliefs rigid and dogmatic?

Have the lessons you've learned served you well?

Is it time to find a new teacher?

Do you make decisions based on what you "should" do or are you tuned into your higher calling?

Wow... This energy presented itself in my life in a big way. I felt like the past few months my world crumbled as these very questions presented experiences that made me face alot of my fears. And throughout 2021 I watched the world around me seemingly reach a crescendo of judgement and division.

Thankfully the new year - an energetically charged number - 2022 brings the energy of VI The Lovers

Are your head and heart united?

Tune into your heart's desires

Take ownership of your choices

If you are acting out of love you are on the right path

Humanity is moving out of a 2000-year Fear paradigm into the Age of Aquarius just as the hippies have been singing out for 50 years. The new paradigm is that of a higher consciousness: Love, Faith and Possibility.

Transition takes time and those in fear - and afraid of change - are trying desperately to hold to the old paradigm. Time to surrender and enjoy the ride. Have faith we are going to a better existence.

I know I am 

In 2022 I will complete 60 loops around the sun. I will retire, sell my house and move into a whole new existence. This life has been great - I got my butt kicked and learned lots and it's time to level up.

My intention for 2022: Find Joy Every Day

Interestingly today's Tarot Card of the Day is XXI (21) The World. Good bye 2021 

Thanks for the ride! 

Things I Don't Do (sometimes)

There's a lot of judgement going on these days. We've served up the perfect atmosphere for humans to do what they do best: observe and comment on those around us and what we should and shouldn't be doing.

In this time of Covid, I proclaim myself to be a Distancer with regard to the Mask Debate. I see 3 groups: the Maskers, the Distancers, and the Indifferents.

The Maskers take the stand that if we all mask up everyone will be fine and this will go away. I had to snooze a friend on facebook as her daily pro-mask memes and messages had me feeling like the Jehovah Witness were continually at my door.

The Distancers (like me) maybe don't take such a firm stand and prefer to physical distance from people. Breathing freely is a beautiful thing and unless I'm within close proximity to another person in a confined space I choose to enjoy my 6 feet of space.

The Indifferents either don't believe there's a virus, don't care if there's a virus, or who knows may even be summoning the virus.

I find the Maskers interesting. Is it a level of safety and protection, or comfort in the anonymity of wearing a mask? With regularity a Masker will invade my 6 feet perhaps mistaking me for an Indifferent. I practice non-judgement however at times I can't help but sense a level of arrogance as I'm acknowledged with disdain ("a good citizen would wear a mask").

I refrain from engaging in the Mask Debate as to why I'm a Distancer but to be honest there's a actually a whole list of Things I Don't Do (sometimes).

I don't wear a bike helmet
I don't wear my seat belt 
I don't answer my phone when it rings
I don't brush my teeth every night
I don't answer the doorbell
I don't eat all my vegetables
I don't change flat tires (though I could but why not get someone else to?)

I'm not an irresponsible person by any means. I've raised 4 kids, hold a professional level job and am a contributing member of society. But I am a sovereign being and have the confidence in myself to assess situations and make choices for the greatest good.

I practice a "live and let live" attitude and look forward to a world where more of us can celebrate our differences rather than fear them.

Politicians will cycle through and Laws can be changed but the responsibility lies with all of us to practice tolerance, kindness and respect for each other on a daily basis.

I encourage people to open your minds and learn about the Universe and life around you. What a fantastic place and time we are in. The possibilities are endless! 

And write your own list of Things You Don't Do (sometimes).